Always the one who get BLAME!

Things doesn't goes well these few days.
Something have just stuck in between and make things gone worse.

Im back to the emo world which full of
darkness,
sorrow,
sadness,
loneliness.

I am always the one who get BLAME!
sometimes with reasons and sometimes not.

I always smile with my fake smile.
I always hide all my feelings.
I always pretend nothing happen.
but,
actually i am torture and stress.

Don't you know that i am stress too?
You thought you are the one who only stress?

If you feel relieve after BLAMING me,
just go ahead la !
Haiz =(


You wont know how much tears i cried for you.
You wont know how worry i am when you are sick or anything happens.
Haiz =(


iamwhoiam

sorry =(
i love you just the way you are.
but,
would you love me as who i am ?
i love you, wayne

Raya Break !!

Raya Break is a STUDY BREAK for us but i didnt even touch my notes AT ALL..i even skipped all my PROGRESS TEST 2..one of it is because im sick =( another reason is i didnt study at all so dont plan to go for the test >.<''

Study break still left 3days den classes will go on as usual..this means im gonna study for FINAL which will be held in DECEMBER..gonna prepare from now on if not there's really no time to prepare d..many things to memorize this sem because of LAW !! is 100% theory..and some more my memorizing skill not very good..but im gonna try my very best to memorize it..i wanna pass all the papers straight...gonna work hard !!

Graduation day getting nearer and nearer..do anyone of you get excited about it?hahahah..i dont get excited but i feel so happy that i can graduate from CAT !! was like FINALLY !!! :D:D

The camera is here already..this Saturday will reach Malaysia..i hope i can see the camera on this Saturday...i really hope..Thanks alot to jie who sponsor half of the price..thanks alot =)

I miss the boyfriend so much..Been a week since we meet each other...haiz...i really think of going alone to Malacca to find him..i really wanna see him so badly..i miss his everything..every time also say soon will meet...but the soon will never reach..i keep asking myself when is the soon...but i cant answer it also..even him also cant give me the answer..every time ask him when will he back...the only answer i get is 'I DONT KNOW'...I feel so sad to see this..i really miss him very much!! miss him til i really wanna take bus to find him..haiz !!! i hope i can meet him this Saturday..hopefully everything goes well..=( no trip this holiday..SIGH !!


p/s : being emo for this raya break. because i cant get to meet boyfriend. because he went back right after his class. he should stay here for few more days to accompany me but he didnt =(
p/s : addicted to this emo song 寂寞寂寞就好 by Hebe !!
p/s : when is the soon?? i really miss you badly and want to see you so badly =(

hubby,
faster come back !!
faster bring me out!!!
i really miss your everything =(
do you miss me as i miss you so much?
i love you, wayne

how would it be this time?

how would it be this time?
who knows about it?
can you tell me how it will be this time?
different or the same?

i hope it will be different this time.
i really hope for it.

looking at the pictures where taken last year on 20th next month,
im wondering whether it will be different this time or still the same like last year.
hmm.




i love this picture so much.


and i hope results will be different this time.
it will be the same, please and thank you.


p/s : im not totally talking bout my birthday okay, dont misunderstand~
p/s : walao, i emo kao kao this few days >.<''
p/s : im just being me !!
p/s : no movies for now :( (boyfie back hometown tomorrow :( )
p/s : i hate this semester's TIMETABLE !!!


It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now

hubby going back tomorrow.
i'll feel sad of course.
so do him.
haiz.
what to do.
cant stop him from going back one right.
im gonna miss you much~
i love you, wayne

everyday is gloomy for me

Everyday just not a good day for me i guess.
Things doesn't go as what i wanted it to be.

I dont know whether am i doing the right thing.
I feel so regret after doing that.
It makes me feel even more down when i thinks of it.
I try to sleep just to forget everything,
but,
everything pops out once i close my eyes.
If you are in my situation,
Im sure you will have the same feeling as i am.
Tears eventually flows down to my cheeks.
Everything seems so scary.
Haiz ~
I hate those feelings ):


New semester started 2 weeks already. Everything goes normal with classes for long hours. August coming in two weeks time means result are getting much closer. Im so worry bout my paper although it was easy compared to previous sitting. i can smile for the whole night right after the paper but i still worry about it. I dont have any confident on it. How? :( I must and i want to graduate this semester. I wanna wear the rope so badly and takes lots of pictures with my friends. Hopefully i can.

God bless us~
Buddha bless us ~
Guan Yin Ma bless us~


Why do you still keeping those unrelated things?
Im jealous you know?
Haiz~


p/s : Jealousy do kills me !!
p/s : Im so nervous about my result. Hopefully everyone will pass. *pray hard*
p/s : August is my month but i dont really get excited about it. why??
p/s : My car full of bird's shit. WTF !!! i had clean my car just now.. Wont ever park at that stupid place anymore !!! URGH!!
p/s : Told you, everyday is not my day ):

hubby,
im happy to see you today.
But,
im sad to know things that i dont wanna know ):
i hope nothing is kept between us.
hmm !
i love you, wayne

tired of everything

what to say?

hmm?

i can say that today is totally not my day.

many 'fan nao' inside my mind.

financial problem is one of it.

i dont know how to settle it.

i dont even dare to speak out to them.

cause i know they with have this 'fan nao' too.

im thinking to stop all my classes but i dont know what to do.

im tiring of everything already.

all these seems make me not so into them.

can i just stop everything next month?

im spending more than anyone else.

thats why im thinking to stop those unnecessary classes if i can do so.

haiz.

im really tired of everything already.

i hate it too..haiz

boyfriend back hometown today ):

although we spent our days but i still feel not enough.

everytime he wanna back, i will show my em song-ness one.

i wont talk. ):

sorry hubby. you know me one right.

two more weeks..just two more weeks den we can meet again le.

this time me goin to meet you at ur hometown.then we go holiday together with our friends.

p/s : dont feel like dancing anymore. tired of dancing already.

p/s : deadline is tomorrow.how? no $$ =(

p/s : i miss my boyfriend so much..haiz

baby,

i wish to go back with you.

i miss you.

i love you, wayne

there's nothing more i can say

You can't change what other people do, but the only thing you can change is how you react to it.

time past so fast like nobody business.

and the month of MAY is going to end very soon.

this means that final is approaching in two weeks time.

OMG!! really cant believe it.

being a nerd to study for final everyday.

gah !! its not me isn't it?

well,

i have sleepless night for these long.

more pandas visited me already.

i looks like a zombie more than a human.

dont ask me to show you how i look like okay.

i feel guilty if i dont study everyday.

i want to have one day-off but i'll feel guilty =/

might as well study =x

i get to rest also la.

if not i'll KANTOI gao gao.

thats why i'm here to blog. hehe

although i study everyday,

but sometimes my mood swings randomly.

being so EMO these days. idk

i dont like people who treats me like someone else.

which means,

when they only need me then they come to me.

if they are not then they put me aside.

DAMN HATE THIS KIND OF PEOPLE.

if you are treating me like this,

IDONTGIVEADAMN!!!!

I WAN BASKIN ROBBIN THIS COMING 31ST.ANYONE WANNA TREAT ME?HEHE..THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!

i miss boyfriend so much.

it has been 2 weeks he back hometown.

which means i didnt see him for two weeks already.

im so so miss him.

boyfriend, do you miss me?

p/s : all the best to all my dear friends who going to face the war this coming june. GAMBATEH!! NEVER GIVE UP!!

p/s : i hate backstabbers !!

p/s : i hate fakers too !! hates those people who take granted on me!! HEAR THIS!!!

baby, i miss you so much.

weee ~

he is coming back next week (:

cant wait to see him ^^

i love you, wayne

tiring days

EDC classes starts yesterday.

its been a hectic week for me.

maybe because i have not enough sleep these few days.

makes me super tired in the class.

and more pandas visit me already.

bb cream fails cover those dark circles.

how to go out like that

i really need a rest but cant.

final is just around the corner.

24 hours a day is not enough la.

time pass so fast like nobody business.

slow it down a little bit la. >

change topic

do jealousy kills?

i wanna know.

why do human jealous ah?

why do they want to jealous in just small things?

im curious to know.

wanna know the answer badly..haha

p/s : feel so irritated these days and emo

p/s : want you so badly ):

p/s : never give up kawans (:

something is weird with this pic.

but i likey (:

baby,

im so happy that i can see you today (:

but,

just is a while ):

i miss you

i love you, wayne

mind

my brain start to think something.

something which i didnt think before.

i start to think more and more.

and actually i dont know what the answer is.

i had this feeling before and is kinda suffering.

i know i shouldnt think those unnecessary things.

but i just cant control myself to think about it.

haiz~

i hope i dont simply think again ):

我没那么坚强

happy 10th month

i love you, wayne

what a day

skip my brunch.

went to meet up him for shopping.

not much to buy.

just 4 clothes and a short pants for himself.

tears burst out right after he asked me why im so moody.

i dont how to answer him so i cried.

i did ask myself not to cry.

but to control.

seems like i cant control myself to cry at that time.

btw, on the way to meet him my car temperature rises.

wholly shit cause i didnt even check before i start my journey.

im being so dumb.

im worry that i was almost late to meet him up.

everything just forgotten.

haiz.

after all, my car is already ok after refill the water til full full full.

i mean FULL.

everything goes well when im on my way back home.

it rains heavily and i cant hardly see the road and the cars outside.

im scare and worry that time.

but luckily i reached home safely.

if not i wont be blogging here XD

feel so uneasy right after i hit by the heavy rain.

feel so so cold whenever im at the hottest place.

is this the symptom of getting sick?

please dont on the PT week la.

p/s : no pictures taken.

p/s : no matter what happens, you still got me (:

arsenal vs manchester united later at 12am.

go Gunners go !!

sorry for not telling you everything.

just that i dont know how to say.

i wont make you so worry le.

hope you'll be happy soon.

and i wont give up on making you happy.

dont doubt on my love towards you.

i love you, wayne.

random

i have done my part.

comfort you.

make yo happy.

didnt show up my moody feeling.

i stil cant make you happy.

i know im not a perfect girlfriend.

i seldom do what a girlfriend's job.

but i already try my very best.

when you are down, i try to make you happy.

but how you treat me?

you should know.

i seldom show up my unhappy face to you.

cause i dont want you to unhappy also.

this is why i always smile to you when im with you.

i know im not always beside you when you need me.

so do you.

i just want you to accompany me more often.

our time clash like shit.

hardly meet up.

you tot im happy like dat?

im not happy at all.

what can i do is just dont show up my unhappiness face to you.

i want you to be happy.

thats what i wish.

no matter how.

im always love you.

forever.

wayne, i love you.

emo again~

been emo for very long time already.

guess everyone knows that. although i didnt show up to you all.

i dont really know what im emo-ing for.

some random things i think.

you all should know who i am.

why didnt i show up.

why didnt i speak out.

why didnt i share.

this is because i am ME.

a girl who likes to keep everything to herself.

a girl who seldom share her problems.

a girl who didnt talk much.

i feel so lonely everytime.

even im with my friends but i still feel im alone.

just like no one is around me.

just only me, myself.

i can feel the empty spaces.

i can feel the echos in the empty place when i start to speak.

there is just no one and is only ME.

im crying while typing this post.

no one understand me well even my love one doesnt.

i just want you to comfort me when im down.

but in the end im the one who comfort you.

i need you when im down.

and you dont even care.

i just need you to accompany me more often.

where are you?

haiz.

emo

im so so emo this few days.

and more emos are coming

haiz~

what i can do now is just :

ALWAYS SMILE NO MATTER HOW BROKEN I AM '(:'

mask is put on 24 hours no matter where i am~

害怕

突然间觉得很害怕

害怕会失去了一些

我不敢想象的事

我很想有哪个勇气去面对

可是我却不敢去面对

我不想失去你~

我不是你想象的那么勇敢

tears

feel like CRYING again.

sien lar.

haiz~

tired

im tired.

im tired of everything.

i really need REST.

much much REST.

i dont know what have i been lately.

kinda moody and tears drop down easily.

haiz~

i hate this feeling so so much.

i cant explain this feeling in words.

just feel so so annoying.

arghhh!!!!

who will understand me?

who?

even YOU also dont understand me.

haiz~

im down do you know that?

im down do you feel it?

im down what you do,?

you're doing your own stuff.

sigh~

i feel you are not loving me as much as before ):

i miss the boyfriend so so much~

he didnt know that my mood is kinda down~

haiz~

em.

my mind is so so blank.

i dont know whats wrong with me.

feel kinda down now.

nothing goes into my mind.

my everything is blank.

totally blank. haiz.

i want you to be with me now.

i want to hug you lean on your shoulder now.

what i want now is YOU~

do you know that? ):

emo

new year. new life. forget the past. look forward for future.

i knows what i need to forget.

i knows what i need to remember.

hopefully things that are not good i can fully forgotten.

hopefully everything goes smoothly these years.

p/s : sorry for what i had did to you for the past. i know i shouldn't give hope. my bad. sorry. you know who you are.

p/s : not really had a great new year. its been a nightmare for me. hopes everything is fine after today.

p/s : don't ask me why i'm emo and dont ask me who did i mention.

im alright after that. no worries (:

miss boyfriend~

waiting you to come back~

faster come back~

boyfriend's big day

today is the day

is the day im waiting for sometime already

is boyfriend's birthday~

happy birthday to you

happy birthday to you

happy birthday to my dear wayne

happy birthday to you

muackz~

may all your wish comes true~

all the best in everything~

good luck in coming exam~

we together jiayou~

hope boyfriend like the prezzie i gave to him

i prepare all those things till 2am eh

watched 2012 with him today~

actually wanna watch at 1245pm but when we get there the seats for that time left the first 2 rows..i dont like it and so do him..so we watched at 215pm..so we have 2 hours time before we entered to cinema..went shopping awhile and then went for lunch..im quite sad when 1245pm slot is full..but i didnt turn up my sad face to him cause today is his birthday..must happy happy with him ma..

the movie was around 2hour 15 minutes long..i sit til my back also pain..after movie, dont plan to walk already..boyfriend need to go back to hometown after that..so, i said lets go home...me and him was like ‘向左走向右走’..im quite sad when our back gonna face each other and say goodbye..time really flies..wish the time stops when im with him..missing him already...i dont know why today i feel quite moody and emo again..haiz...

p/s : boyfriend said he likes the prezzie very much (:

p/s : i cried when watching 2012 and so do him..2012 was awesome!!!!

p/s : hope to celebrate boyfriend burfday every year together with him (:

how if the world really ends just exactly like the movie?will it have the three big ships?can some of the people survive just like them?i wonder...

miss boyfriend very much~

i want him now~

):

emo-ing again

my mood suddenly becomes down

i dont know what had happen

it happens suddenly

haiz

whenever i online my mood will become down

then, i got things to blog when i got emo

im easily got emo and sad

not even that, my tears easily drops too

whenever i see people crying in reality or movies

i will cry too

tears drops automatically and does not need me to ask them out

haiz

so depressed but i will be strong in front of everyone

is hard to wear a mask outside

anyhow have to wear also

haiz

miss boyfriend beyond~

FRUSTRATED~

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cant take it anymore T.T

im stress ):

i cant concentrate now thats why im here blogging out ...

haiz~